Mond-ehhhhhhh.

HEYYYY.

Happy Monday everyone! 

I had a pretty great holiday weekend I must say, I survived working Black Friday at Macy's, I got to see some of my closest friends and go to Melt, I finally saw Catching Fire, and I got trained at my new job!

So, I'm going to talk about what I'm doing today, that is going to scare me. 

Tuesday night, I got an e-mail from my school choir director. He saw that I went to the high school I went to, which is known for its performing arts programs and wanted to know if I was interested in singing for my college. He arranged for me to meet with him and discuss the different groups we have.

I had been involved in Choir all throughout middle school and loved it. I felt that I finally found something that I was good at and I was never nervous to sing in front of anyone. When I got to high school, I was so excited to be a part of Womens Chorus. Everything leading up to the first concert we had was great. I loved being in it, and singing with people a passionate about their voice as I was. However, it was my Freshmen year and at that time in my life I was kind of a hot mess ( like most people!) I had also been involved in dance my whole life and had injured my knee which led to me having to quit which was breaking my heart because I had worked so hard to get to where I was in the dance world. 

So, back to Choir. My choir director was exactly sympathetic and thought I didn't care about singing and took it out on myself and my friends. She would always make an example out of us for stupid things. She claimed we were disruptive in class and didn't want to be there. Trust me, we weren't. I was just having a hard time, and really didn't need my choir director to be bitching at me for things I didn't even do. She ended up contact my mom and my friend parents about us basically doing nothing. I though it was stupid beyond belief, but I tried to listen to what she had to say and followed her rules. 

Throughout this whole thing, I became so insecure about actually singing by myself in front of people because she made me feel like an idiot for singing a phrase slightly wrong. Instead of helping me, like I had asked she would ridicule me instead. So I ended up being super embarrassed to even want to be a part of the organization. She wouldn't even let me try out to be a part of any groups for the next year.

So I quit. I'm glad I did. I ended up joining band and having a good time and meeting most of my friends I have today. Despite the issues I would have with my band director, he would NEVER make me feel like I was worthless and didn't belong in the music program. I knew I wasn't good at playing the flute, but he never made fun of me for it. He actually helped me become a better player. Obviously, I wasn't meant to play flute professionally, but at least I was welcome to learn.

This is why I am so nervous to even meet with this director. I want to get back into singing but I dont want the same experience I had my freshmen year. I'm  finally getting back into dance and I would love to include choir in that. I'm so nervous to even audition because of the experience I had. So, wish me the best of luck, please.

I feel that this whole thing falling on Monday is interesting. My friend Rachael at Pretty in Pink is co-hosting something called Monthly Motivational Monday, and I could use some motivation.

"It's better to light a single candle, than to sit and curse the darkness" 

What this means to me is that, instead of sitting and complaining about everything going wrong in your life, go out there and do one thing to change it for the better. I think a lot of people could benefit from this saying, including my self. 

I hope I somewhat inspired you! Click that and it should give you more information about this than I could tell you lol!